Dress: Red Dress Boutique
Isn’t the title of this post funny? On one of our first nights in NYC, my friend Collins drug me to see Frozen on Broadway and I have to say that I actually enjoyed it! I think the message of “letting go” really applies to a lot of situations in life when you think about it. For me, I needed to “let it go” and get a grip this past weekend when I felt my anxiety creeping in during a lot of Fashion Week events. Can’t you just hear Elsa singing the song in your head now?
I had a lot of fun in New York for NYFW, but I would be lying if I was like “OMG it was amazing and life-changing and I LOVE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT”. Here’s the deal, I’m sure you all know that I have anxiety and panic attacks every now and then. They’ve actually been pretty well controlled the past couple of years, but for some strange reason, sometimes they both will rear their ugly heads when I travel. It’s the weirdest thing, but I think it has a lot to do with being in an unfamiliar environment (even though I’ve been to NYC a ton and stayed at the exact same hotel), over exposure to people and events (y’all know I’m an introvert by nature), and just the poor sleep schedule that really wears me down. I was in a cab by myself from a showroom visit to a meeting on Thursday and had the mother of all panic attacks where I just felt trapped, alone, and scared. It could have also been the hot and nauseating cab ride, but nonetheless, the panic attack was still there.
This weekend really put into perspective that I need to work on myself more. It’s so easy to get caught up in the whole comparison game and thinking, “why did this person get invited to that and I didn’t?”, “why does this person work with that brand and they won’t even email me back?” mentality, and I’ll admit that this weekend, it got the best of me. I was really down on myself and let those nasty thoughts consume my brain. All of these thoughts made me question why I even do this, if anyone even likes me, and where to go from here? Ultimately I pulled myself together and got over all of this, but I think there are still some valid reasons why I need to really assess why it is that I am trying to do with my little corner of the internet and how to better myself in the future.
I’m sorry if this post isn’t your typical “best time ever” recap, but I think it’s important to be honest with you all and let you into my crazy brain every now and then. Have you all ever dealt with feelings like this? Or panic and anxiety?